Journey around the Wheel of Time

The Great Hunt Audiobook Update 7: It seemed so logical, then

What an ominous and unclear subtitle. First off I’d like to say RIP to Ingtar. Yes he was a darkfriend and betrayed Rand, but then again he betrayed Rand so could he really have been all bad? Quite the conundrum.

A dark start to the weekend for sure. If only that archer had shot Rand right in the heart… O I lament for what could have been. What an all time great line from Ingtar. I know it’s a serious moment but I just think of your friend convincing you to do something stupid after a long night out and just being like the next day “it seemed so logical, then.”

If you stuck with the blog this long after an odd start lets get right into it. Today is the weekly update of the number one Wheel of Time audiobook review and discussion. Who rated it number one? ME of course, if I speak it into existence then one day it will be true. At least that is what every corny ass motivational speaker or self-help book author says. More importantly though, it’s friday!

Had a great chance to knock out a lot of the audiobook this week, and I think by this time next week we will be taking a journey through the third book. By the time I finish listening to this entire series I will have ran 10 marathons, and written 500 blogs. Pretty crazy.

So one of my favorite parts of the entire series, partly because I actually remember it, was the duel between Turak and Rand. I don’t think I am alone in this, Reddit always seems to have one person chiming it about how much they love this. But you know what no one seems to talk about, just how great it would have been if Rand didn’t cheat and Turak ran him the fuck through with his sword.

I have to say every time I picture this fight I always find the idea that Turak has these like crazy long old lady nails hilarious. Like how the hell is he supposed to swing a sword around with these neon claws. Unfortunately this was our best chance to off the protagonist and Turak dropped the ball. This mush-mouth, cat lady nail having, old Irish golf pant wearing, skinny bitch couldn’t get the job done. Heron marked blade my ass. I think I would have rather seen that god damn kid Mat tricked into thinking there were ghost hound things running around take a chance at Rand over this clown. What an all time choke artist.

Lets talk about the hero of the series and his bravery in blowing the Horn of Valere. It was awesome. The fact that Arthur Hawkwing wastes time talking to Rand instead of the peoples champ is an all time snub. Him and his Snape nose can go roll in broken glass naked.

And that about wraps up this week in audiobook love. I have a special treat coming tomorrow. You guessed it, it is another blog. Real special. Lets get it.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 6: PR’s and progress

Yes it is Tuesday. Yes I know the title of this blog series is Marathon Mondays. Yes I know that means that a blog about training for a marathon that is titled Marathon Mondays should be posted on Mondays not Tuesday. And I am also aware that this is the second time I have done this. Well guess what. I fucked up. So here it goes!

Welcome to the Monday* rendition of the my progress whilst training for my first marathon! If you are just joining in, this blog series is mostly whining about injuries and making excuses so buckle up. Lets start with how last week finished up.

Once again I skipped the flex day run, actually taking a day off instead of doing some type of cross training or running. My legs were just beat the hell up and I really did not think I could even run one more mile without something snapping. It was a great choice. Tuesday was a 6-mile hill run as well as a soccer game later on, so I seriously needed to be fresh or I wasn’t going to make it. The hills were great, I keep meaning to take a picture of the bridge I run up on 14th street in Hoboken. I think it’s 14th street at least. Whatever it is about .35 miles long so it works. The workout went swimmingly, I did 7 sets of .25 mile repeats up the hill. Some lady walked up that hill twice, once in the beginning of me starting the hills and once at the end. So all that lady saw me do was run up and down this hill, since she was walking slow as shit I had to run past her like 8 times. The last time she just laughed at me like look at this fucking loser. Fuck you lady with your old woman walking ass, go play in traffic. Just kidding she seemed nice and even waved the last time.

The rest of the week was pretty standard, though the 8-miler on Thursday was pure fucking torture. You know sometimes its just hot and muggy and you are shot and every step feels like you have been laying on a mirror in the middle of the Sahara wearing a gimp suit? Maybe that is just me…

Tempo run really felt like I loosened up, my gf was doing an 8-mile tempo run that was 1 mile at tempo, .25 mile recovery, for 4 miles so I did 3 miles of that with her. It wasn’t too bad prob kept around an 8-8:30 minute mile for them. Either way I got through it.

And finally, the long run. I set a new distance PR on Sunday with a lovely 14-miler. That run was honestly the first time that this whole running 26 miles thing seemed possible. We set it up pretty solidly, in front of my apartment I had a Gatorade (yellow of course. yellow is a flavor don’t @ me) so when we ran about 7 miles we passed the apartment and refueled for a good 30 seconds. That made all the difference. Well the weather made all the difference really because it was gorgeous. Whatever it felt great.

Taking a look at the upcoming week it seems to be a down week in terms of day-to-day runs so I am looking forward to getting some cross training in. I did some hot yoga yesterday and while my downward dog still looks like dead dog I really do recommend adding yoga to your routine. I feel astronomically better today than I did yesterday. Once I learned to accept that I am always going to suck at yoga and to not be embarrassed about it, I have way more fun. I still try all the hard shit and fall and stuff, but what are you going to do. Like I tried to do this pose where you are in tree thingy and you grab your big toe and extend the leg out, but my hip almost snapped off and I stumbled and gave it up. It would have looked sick though. I think this is it.

Today, I have an 8-mile interval run and I think this will be the most challenging thing I have on the agenda so I am glad to get it out the way. No soccer tonight the seasons over. We sucked. The long run this weekend is 10 miles so nothing too crazy there. I even have a 3-mile run on the schedule, what will I do with all the time on my hands. Maybe finish a fucking book…

Journey around the Wheel of Time

The Great Hunt Audiobook Update 6: Endless worlds, endless possibilities

I would like to take some time out of your regularly scheduled program to honor a true hero. A man that has faced ridicule, faced trials and tribulations, faced haters and doubters, and has rose above adversity to lead his people to greatness. I am talking of course about the legend number 8 of the New York Football Giants, Daniel Mothafucka Jones. Hi pocket presence, his ability to read the defense, his pure athleticism caused the drive that was heard round the tristate area like a local car dealership. What does this have to do with The Wheel of Time you might ask? Well my friends, in short, everything.

It was a hot summer afternoon when a young man, fresh off a grueling and truly terribly performed 8-mile run sat on his couch and tuned into the New York Football Giants. He had just finished listening to an hour-and-a-halfish (yes that’s how long it took to run 8 miles, I am not proud of this fact) of a fantastic audiobook courtesy of the lovely folks at audible (sponsor me please), when a hero first entered the television screen. He proceeded to complete his first pass. I was intrigued. Another play, another completion. My eyes were laser focused on this man-miracle. He dares to throw another, he succeeds in completing this monumental feat. Now I am tearing up, for three in a row can’t possibly be possible. Pray it is no fluke. A fourth pass, a fourth completion. I am full on weeping tears of joy. My dick may or may not be harder than a blood-diamond.  And finally, the grand finale. He lets the ball go, TOUCHDOWN. The sky erupts as the heavens open up in the presence of a god. Lightning is appearing in the sky, the world is sundering at the seams. The fabric of reality is torn. The sheer magnitude of the moment causes a weather delay. I worry how this will affect my bet if they can’t finish the game. I finish my aside. Go Giants!

There is a part in chapter 37 of The Great Hunt where Rand is trying to use a portal stone and it is acting like a shitty motor that just won’t get started. He finally gets the thing working and like a sputtering engine we are treated to six renditions of the word ‘Flicker.’ Now reading ‘flicker’ six times in a row takes no effort at all, but hearing it six straight times was just torturous. Worse than listening to a country song. BUTTTTT what we do get is this sickkkk chapter where Rand lives out like 100 lives and I have to say, I like every other version of Rand better than the one Robert Jordan subjects us too. In one life he is a disgruntled guard with an attitude problem, who goes on to lead the Caemlyn army in a last stand. That is fucking badass. None of this soft ass crying. Also Rand screws up and they launch themselves 4 months into the future. Good job dipshit.

Meanwhile at the White Tower, we are treated to an, wait for it, angry Nynaeve. The source of her anger? She got whipped up on for throwing hands with another Accepted. Nynaeve embodies the world-renowned scholar Aubrey Graham’s famous quote “twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers.” She doesn’t take no shit from noooooobody. I do think it is pretty weak though that Liandrin is able to convince them all to leave the White Tower just because they are afraid that there are Black Aja around. Like couldn’t they just go to the Amrilyn Seat? The precedent has been set that they have at least the semblance of a connection with her, and certainly asking her would be wise. O well they didn’t so off they go.

I do want to address the elephant in the room. Many have been clamoring that Matt in these last few chapters has exhibited elements of what us in the world like to call a “snitch.” In some of the lives Matt sees of himself, he has told people that Rand has been able to channel. Some, those deep dark hating trolls, would believe that this means that our hero Matt exhibits snitch like tendencies, but I am here to say that could not be further from the truth. What traits Matt truly embodies are that of the hero, he is willing to sacrifice even his own friend (who has proven to be a terrible friend on numerous occasions, even deigning to look down upon him) for the sake of the safety of the world. Duty is lighter than a feather, heavier than a mountain indeed. Happy Friday everybody!

Final Notes: I promise some more book related stuff is coming, but taking a break from The Stone Sky and whatever is the name of that stupid ass third book in A Land Fit for Heroes series to read The Ruin of Kings has me about halfway done with three different books. An interesting conundrum.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 5: On to the 2nd quarter

One quarter of the quest to become Marathon Mike is officially in the books. It is easy to look at a plan and think that it seems like an impossible amount of time, but I am here to tell you that it is an impossible amount of time. I feel like with how much I talk to people about this, with all the blogs, and the obvious planning/training/recovering of doing the actual plan, it feels like I have been doing this for an eternity. To think that four weeks is literally a month, not a pleasant thought. If you thought some encouraging shit was coming, MY BAD.

That being said I guess the truth is that if you were a quarter the way through your run you might feel like it’s not that bad. So there is that. I guess. But lets not focus on the negative and get into talking about the runs last week.

Right off the bat you can see the tuesday run I was talking about. For a 6-mile interval run to start off the week, it wasn’t too bad. I felt like I was getting some good pop off of the speed intervals. I got terrible pop in my soccer game that night, but whatever thats not relevent to the blog. It was kind of nice to open up after a brutal 12-miler the day before, and while I felt my knee teetering on disaster, it held up. Seems like my knee if finally starting to heal up correctly. I think a heating pad on it for 20 minutes three times a day at work, as well as working the quad with a lacrosse ball really contributed to the muscle finally loosening up.

The other stuff was business as usual. I banged out the tempo run on Friday morning, felt really good during it. I ran 20 minutes at the tempo, i think the first mile was at an 8:00 minute pace the second one dropped off too an 8:20. It is really hard to get good speed workouts in when I am so worried about getting hurt during soccer. Tuesday night I literally felt like death had come calling. I don’t worry too much about performing well during the speed stuff, I sprint a lot playing sports. As long as I attempt it I am happy.

I also hit the gym Friday night for some well needed leg workouts. With the knee thing I have been scared to do any legwork, which of course means if I lose strength I am more likely to get injured. A vicious cycle indeed. The long run was a 10-miler which was pretty easy all things considered. I ran it Saturday morning before the oppressive heat.

As for the upcoming week. I am taking today off, I feel like if I don’t take at least one day my legs are literally going to seize up, every time I think about running my calf starts to seize up like a fiend. Plus a 6-miler with a hill workout tomorrow morning is not going to be easy. At least the last soccer game of the season is tomorrow night! Until, the fall of course. The rest of the week should be good, though I will be setting my own distance PR with the 14-miler this weekend. That just sounds crazy, but the following weeks that hopefully will be happening a lot. Have a good week everybody!

Journey around the Wheel of Time

The Great Hunt Audiobook Update 5: Cause baby you’re a firework


I have not done a great job this week of putting up any blogs, which is crazy considering how much reading I have done since Monday. The problem is, I haven’t really come close to finishing everything, I have about 200 pages left in The Dark Defiles, 340 pages left in The Stone Sky and I just started The Ruin of Kings. Why did I start The Ruin of Kings when I have more than enough on my plate? Because I am a fantasy glutton. No I wanted to read it for job related things that I am not at liberty to discuss. That sounds so fucking cool. It’s not

So here we are with another week done and an audiobook update needing to be put out there. Since we are all in the trust tree on this blog I want to say that since I posted the last update I have only listened to about an hour of The Great Hunt. Been running a lot without headphones or by listening to music so obviously that means no audiobook. It is impossible to focus on an audiobook, for me at least, while doing hills, intervals or tempo runs so any day I am scheduled to run those I listen to music. That being said, the tempo run I had this morning was missssserable. I think for the 20 minutes I ran hard I averaged like an 8:15ish mile, which is honestly just fine with me. So at least performance wise I was where I wanted to be, but physically I was dying. I actually started to cramp a little bit in my side, which never happens to me so I don’t know what that was about. Safe to say that is the last I’ll think about it until it happens again.

The blogs subtitle speaks for itself, I am a huge Katy Perry fan. No it’s because Rand launched a firework at either a trolloc or darkfriend I really don’t remember. I do know that it was pretty cool. The highlight of what I read was of course the return of the legendary Thom, who of course is already banging out a much younger lady. What a boss. It does set up that fucking crazy murderous Thom rampage he goes on at some point. I remember originally reading it and it going completely over my head. I hope listening this time I pick up on it. I think I didn’t even realize it happened until I read something on it after the series was done.

And that pretty much sums up everything. Dull stuff but you know what, not everyone is a winner. That picture I made is funny as shit though. I think I am going to have to start using football players soon. Tis the season. Have a great weekend everybody.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Monday’s Week 4: A day late but still great

I’m thinking this is going to be a quick update this week, since I already fucked it up by not blogging it yesterday. This is not the blog of excuses, just complaints masked in poor attempts at comedy, so I’ll just tell the truth. Took the day off from work yesterday, and after doing my 12-mile long run in the middle of the day, I was shot and laid on my bed all day while I was subjected to listening to the Bachelorette, as I was too tired and hot to get up and watch my own stuff in the other room that we are too poor to use AC in. That being said, they did my boy Pilot Pete dirty. Guess that’s what you call a…wait for it…crash landing.

Why did I do my long run on Monday of all days, especially considering it was only 102930 degrees out. Well me and the old ball-and-chain went hiking up Mount Minsi on Sunday, which is located somewhere in the Delaware Water Gap or whatever the hell it’s called. Lovely hike, only took like 4-5 hours to do the whole thing, with time spent trying to capture the perfect Instagram picture, which I will of course share below. Go hiking it is pretty chill. 

As to how last week went, it was solid. The tempo run went well, it kind of seems like all my difficult running workouts take place on Tuesdays, which coincides with my washed up soccer league. Whatever it is what it is. The hills I must say were really fun, there is this giant ass bridge in Hoboken that is maybe 1/3 of a mile long and relatively steep so I just did .25 mile repeats for 2 miles. Next time I do hills I will take a picture of it for reference. I also wrote a sentence that had both a fraction and a decimal to describe mile length. That’s the work of a genius.

Let me get into the meat and potatoes for what I’m looking at this week. It would be better for the sake of this blog to talk about how I’m dreading taking on this interval run in the 90 degree weather but I already did it this morning. That’s the problem with writing blogs late, you lose the ability to project forward. I will say though, doing intervals the day after running 12 miles, would not recommend to anyone out there. That is probably the reason this plan has an optional run on Mondays, for that little thing I hate called rest. Whatever it’s in the past, so might as well talk about it. In my quest to never make things easy on myself I decided to do 5 sets of 2 minutes hard running, 2 minutes slow jog. It was a 6 mile run so the warmup was 2 miles. Overall brutal workout. Cool I’ll stop complaining now. Just kidding, my knee has been fucked all day. Still got to play soccer tonight.

As for the rest of the week, it seems like a heavy mileage week, though the long run is only 10 miles. Not really thinking this should be too difficult, assuming my knee cap decides to chill in its uhhhh kneecap for the rest of the week. Who knows!?!?! I will be sure to update on Friday. Probably.

Final Notes: Hope I made up for the lack of words with pictures. Really embracing this blogging work ethic.

Journey around the Wheel of Time

The Great Hunt Audiobook Update 3: Shooter’s Shoot

After successfully arguing my case for the sexual deviance of Rand al’Bore in last weeks blog, I thought to myself “You have peaked as a blogger.” Perhaps, but much like a crippled Kobe I will continue to limp my way through this despite all evidence telling me I’m washed. And similar to Kobe, SHOOTERS SHOOT. For the record Kobe and I have many differences too. It would be rude to point those out so don’t.

This week featured a lot of Aes Sedai shit. After Selene escaped a predator, we were treated to a little Moiraine and my main man Lan. Moiraine spends some time with the Golden Girls and trys to learn some shit, but it is her conversation with Lan that really gets us. At this point we kind of don’t know the deal with Moiraine and Lan, like are they bang buddies, did the swipe right on Tinder and decide to be friends, do either of them like each other’s Instagram posts from months back, it’s confusing. So it was illuminating to see that they just got a common goal in mind. Moiraine is an all-time mindfucker. Telling Lan he is getting his bond transferred so he won’t off himself, and dangling the possibility of Nynaeve getting that bond at some point is a classic Sedai scheme.

Imagine your wife being the person who has your bond, seems fucking miserable. You get asked to go do some menial thing like take out the trash (which is the most generic chore I could think of), you obviously say no because the Giants have the ball on the 15 and it’s 3rd and goal because of a holding penalty. We call that prime Saquon the Savior time. She compels you to do it. You miss the hurdle to stiff arm to extend the ball over the corner greatness. The worst. Just kidding, flag thrown on the play, hold on Sterling Shepard on the opposite side of the field. 3rd and 25.

You come home after a long day sharpening your sword and practicing forms, you remember that Timmy the Tinker was showing your wife some pottery. You walk into the bedroom and see Timmy tinkering your wife. You go to pull out that freshly sharpened sword but NOOO. She compels you to watch because she has a cuckolding fetish. You weep silent tears. She compels you to let Timmy tinker you because she’s finished and he still hasn’t found the one song of his dick. That’s the way of the leaf for ya.

So Nynaeve and Egwene finally get to the tower and meet Sheriam. Sheriam keeps trying to make Nynaeve a novice and Nynaeve pulls a Birdman and tells her to put some res’peck on my name. I am a sucker for those ring test chapters to be raised to novice, and the Nynaeve one is just so well done. Robert Jordan has some chapters that just hit differently, I get pulled in and remember when all the bullshit is going on how he can go from overdoing it to mastering it. I’m just realizing it seems a lot of these moments for me are the Nynaeve and Lan love saga. Just so well done. When she is forced to choose between the fake reality where she has everything she wants, Lan as her husband and restored to his glory, kids, the works and the bleakness that is the world she currently resides in, my heartstrings are just pulled. I may have started to tear up… I swear I am not a little bitch despite what the evidence points too.

I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to write about. Silly me. Happy Friday!