“Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive, gloriously alive, today.”

-Matt Cauthon

Look we can all admit when we are wrong. It is an important practice in achieving self-realization. That being said I got screwed the last time I used Matt’s name in vain. If I can think of some clever alliteration for Locke Lamora than I might use his luck next time instead.

HOWEVER I got the mortal lock of the century this afternoon. Before I bless you with the easiest cash you will ever make that isn’t donating sperm, lets take a second to talk about Kyrie. He’s crossing these goons up. The game is boring as shit though.

March Madness was nothing short of a disaster for me. By the end of it I was something like 6 for 20. Atrocious, egregious, insulting to Oponn. Oponn will be appeased today, this is my promise.

So what is this mortal lock? Is it what character is going to die tonight in GoT? NO! It really is hard to care about any NBA shit knowing that tonight the long night has ended. Butttttttt time waits for no man or something.

Oklahoma City Thunder +3.5


Portland Trail Blazers -3.5

HAMMER OKC like you are Perrin. Let me pontificate on the genius of this choice. First, the Trail Blazers are chokers. They got swept by the fucking Pelicans last year. Lillard and McCollum are great players, no doubt about it. But they have not really proven that they can win when things get tough. Westbrook, as much as I hate him, is going to come like a bat out of hell. He is going to wreck havoc on Portland. I hate to say it because it is soooooo corny but honestly because he is so easily offended and takes everything to heart, he is going to come out there trying to set the tone for the series.

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