Sugar honey iced tea welcome to the 8th installment of a loosely based serial blog of me half listening to an audiobook and using the review format to rant and rave about life so if I you have been keeping up with this or are just tuning in (little TV lingo for ya) I have been listening to the Eye of the World audiobook not because the TV show is coming out and I wanted to freshen up on it so I could look down on people and feel o so smug as I tell them how much better the book is whilst dropping tidbits such as the always classic “that’s not how it happened in the books” and “I CAN’T even believe they changed that” as you slowly think of the fastest way to remove yourself from the conversation and never walk over to my desk again or text me back  but rather because I wanted to see if the story still held up after I read it years ago and mildly enjoyed the series despite the 10000000000000000000 (approximately of course) pages and story that spiraled more out of control then a night out on the town with former Knick great J.R. Smith aka as “you tryna get the pipe” DM line dropper.

That was a mouthful and I’m not talking about the eighth season of Game of Thrones (get it??? It sucked the big one [that is a fellatio joke {cue the irony joke drums as you stab yourself in the eyes with the green straw from a venti Starbucks iced coffee you purchased at the bargain price of $6.94}]). That sentence had more brackets then your office during March Madness. God I need to end this blog ASAP. Fridays am’I’rite???

Maybe I don’t need to spend too long talking about running this time around, I have been running 36 miles a week still. This week I am going to hit 37, next week 38, week after that 10 HAHAHA just kidding 39 just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Training is going well, my eyes recovered from their battle with bald head sunscreen. Got some solid time with our favorite team of destiny, and I am not talking about the Warriors. Cue the segway . . . speaking of the Warriors I hope all four people outside my family who may read this blog (not positive my family does TBH) don’t take any of my gambling advice. If you bet on the Warriors you are like me, someone who is losing to set up the COMEBACK. The hot streak of picking wrong is still on! Team of destiny my ass, you let stick figure Siakam and Raymond Feltons’ twin brother beat you. Won’t speak ill of Kawhi he’s amazing, OOO WAIT, I bet on him having a double-double and that fucker had 9 rebounds (he actually had 8 but 9 seems much more heartbreaking). I mean they were throwing up circus shots and it would just roll in no biggie.

Let’s talk the tav’ern team. Rand and Mat are out there doing their best Thom immpressions. Rand of course is being a little bitch, when some farmer’s daughter is giving him the ol’ lets take a barn yard roll eyes he gets all nervous and keeps playing his fiddle. Hey buddy you think she was just trying to make you nervous so you would keep playing because they are on a farm and haven’t heard music in their whole lives? All time loser. Mat on the other hand, legend. She gives him those eyes “It’s Goin’ Down” like a Yung Joc song. Or going down like Yung Joc’s career. Shout out to him he sounded good on that T-Pain song in 1987.

We should take this time to admire what Mat is doing. His healthy sense of paranoia is what that duo needed. Rand ready to trust any farmer with a straw hat, going to get himself diddled with that attitude. Mat on the other hand is ready to stab his own friend with a cursed knife from the evil pufferfish in order to SECURE THE BAG. Game recognizes game. Evil Mat is awesome.

O yea Perrin’s dumbass and Egwene got captured by White Cloaks. Good job bro. At least he killed some. Actually I think I mentioned this  last week. Happy Friday!

Final Notes:  Went to Book Expo yesterday (yea that’s where only publishing professionals and people selling weird book related merchandise no one wants go, talk about exclusivity) and saw that Robert Jordan is actually publishing a new book. I was going to ask if Jordan wrote the book whilst hanging out with Tupac, but I saw that the scientology publisher had delicious looking cookies so I decided to grab one of those instead. Just kidding I was too nervous to talk to anyone because I suck at networking hence why I hide behind a blog. Learned a lot about L Ron Hubba Bubba though. Let me tell you a little bit about him…

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