Before I dive in to what can only be described as the most laissez-faire approach to an intense training regiment, let’s all take a minute to acknowledge the artistry involved in crafting a title that both repels and engages you all at once. Essentially a clusterfuck. I’ve been told that is my charm. Also it took a solid five minutes to figure out the correct way to write laissez-faire and to see if I used it correctly. That’s the level of efficient blog writing I bring to the table.

As the title makes crystal clear, it officially is day one, week one of my 16-week marathon training program. If you are wondering why I am undertaking a 16-week training program when there are 17 weeks until the marathon, well I am going to Colombia August 24th to September 1st to go on a cocaine sabbatical and since I neither speak the language nor have a very healthy ticker, it is in my best interest to just repeat the week before and pick it up when I get back. Also this trip is purely tourism, as fun as a cocaine sabbatical might be to some, that really ain’t my thing but it sounded funny. And my hearts fine, except for right now because I slugged down one of those Dunkin’ Energy Cold Brews since I had a free beverage thing on the app that I needed to use today, and my heart rate is through the roof.

Tingling feeling creeping down from my heart to my left hand’s fingertips aside, I am feeling like I am in peak physical condition. Having ran about 30-40 miles a week for the last few months, on top of a weekly gym session or two, occasional millennial hot yoga and some rec league soccer, I think I am ready to take on this next challenge. I have also come to the conclusion that writing all that out made me seem like a fucking losssssser. Please bear with me. Or don’t, it’s okay this stuff is for me anyway.

As for the plan, I am doing a modified version of the advanced NYRR stock training plan, which you can see at the top of this blog. By modified I mean I am making a few changes to fit my scheduling, not that I am changing it in any way. Remember I am an idiot not some fitness guru. The first change is the obvious repeat of week 8, which I know is going to slow the progression and make the following week where I have a long run of 18 miles brutal, but I really don’t have a solution for it. Besides, I signed up for the TCS New York City Marathon Training Series 18M and the plan lines up perfectly with that race if I repeat the week while I am on vacation. Gotta find the good in things. The other modification is swapping the Wednesday/Thursday runs. My girlfriend has a lot of similar runs to what would have been my Thursday runs, so for the sake of getting in some training together the swap makes sense. The things I do for love…

Being an eternal pessimist I already know where I am going to struggle with some of this stuff. The first and most glaring problem I already foresee is the obvious heavy workload for a guy who has never run a marathon. I want to say I know my body’s limits, but what I believe I can do and what my body can actually do are two completely different things. Some of the heavy weeks are way beyond anything I have ran before. I am terrible with rest days and this plan does not have many of them, so it is crucial that I actually rest when I am supposed too, especially during those crazy weeks. Honestly, if this plan is proving too much for me I will just switch it out with the NYRR stock intermediate plan, which is very similar with it’s long runs but is a little less intense during the week. Not exactly a great attitude but if I am realistic going in, then if I have to do it I will at least be prepared, albeit disappointed in myself. Nothing new there. Another problem I am going to have is doing the tempo and hill workouts. I really enjoy just running to run and am not at all one of those “need to go an exact pace” kind of runners, but it was proving impossible to find a plan that didn’t have any speed/hill workouts but also had enough running for me. Wow that sounded weird. I hate doing tempo shit, but I did do like 4 miles of hills this week and it wasn’t terrible. Maybe I will be alright. The last issue I have is that I am going to continue to play soccer and whatever other sports come my way, but will not skip any runs for them. The injury bug comes for everyone. Stretching and proper care are essentials that I often neglect. Gotta be better about it.

Well there you have it, these are just some of my thoughts on beginning a journey that is going to last the next four months or so. I am pretty jacked up about starting this thing and while I can’t promise I will update my progress every week, I will do my best to give at least semi-regular updates. I hope that I will get the chance to talk about my experience with some of the gear I use, some of my struggles with specific runs, and some of the cross-training I do, amongst other stuff. I also hope I can get my girlfriend to write a few guest blogs describing her own experience with her plan in order to offer the zero readers of this blog a different perspective and approach to marathon training from an actual expert of the human body instead of a guy who thinks he knows everything and researches nothing. Either way it starts with putting pen to paper or taking that first step, so just by writing this blog I have taken that first step!

I just want you to know I am aware how fucking nauseating that last sentence is, I thought about ending the blog on it ironically but just couldn’t do it. This is why I will never write for some big company. Or make any money doing this…

Love you all.

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