The bizarre subtitle makes much more sense if you have read the book, which involves having a special aptitude for something that they call knacks. Now that that is cleared up and I repeated the word ‘that’ because I am not clever enough to structure a sentence differently to avoid repetition I would like to at least mention the book this wrap-up is supposed to cover. Last weeks book, and of course the greatest fantasy podcast of all time, covered They Mostly Come Out at Night by Patrick Benedict, which is book 1 of the Yarnsworld series. The way this book is marketed, they call it like a folktaleish horror story. I tend to disagree, if you would like to hear the only opinion that holds any weight, give the episode a listen. Patrick Benedict approved it, or at least pretended to listen to it, so you should at least pretend to listen, at the very least download it, and if you are a true gentleman (or lady) and scholar you should subscribe, like, rate and download the whole catalog.

So click here for a podcast endorsed by the author himself, the proof is in the pudding.

Let’s get into it. Lonan is a kind of outcast villager in a quaint forest village. Quaint in the sense that every night everyone needs to lock themselves in a cellar so they don’t get murdered by monsters that come out every night. Lonan lives with Mother Ogema and some kind of braindead dude, because his mom doesn’t want him as she and the village blame him for leaving cellar doors open leading to the death of his dad and his friend Branwen’s dad or something. So he goes about his day gathering herbs for mother ogema, secretely wishing for Branwen, his old friend and the woman who he loves. One night he starts dreaming about Adahey, the son of the Magpie King, the mythological esque ruler of Corvae who protects the villagers from the monsters through superhuman feats.

Here the narrative starts to follow three directions: Lonan kind of navigating his life in the village and his conflict with Jarleth, Adahey and his friend Maedoc fighting against the wolf monsters, and some fairy tales that serve as the backstory of Yarnsworld and key us in to details that will become relevant to the main storyline, they follow the trickster Artemis as he rails against the rule of the Magpie king. Eventually Lonan eats the magic flower and fights that dickhead Maedoc who yeeted Adahey off of a castle and took his place as the king. But I also have a breakdown of all the fairy tales, which I would be honored to share with you.

1. This dude artemis tricks a farmer and fucks his three daughters, one of them is 16 so that’s bad

2. A giant squirrel thinks everyone is making fun of him because of his bushy tail so he eats the sun

3. Artemis pretending to be the Magpie King tricks Alfrond pretending to be the Mouse King for a bottle of water

4. The Magpie King pulls a “White girls” and turns himself well white to marry and fuck the owl princess, she gets mad when she finds out he is black and kicks him out. He tries again. Then he just simply says he likes her and she becomes his

5. Artemis is running from the Magpie King, who he robbed, he gets chased by a giant spider, the spider eventually gets too tired and gives up, so he kills all of its eggs so that people call him a legend

6. The Magpie King gets bit by the head serpent, is poisoned and when he heals is super hungry, he sees blueberry pies and an old woman tricks him into doing housework for them. Eventually he punishes her to bake a pie everyday

7. Refugees come into the magpie kings domain, he says if the woman leader passes a test of strength of trust and of love they can stay. First she climbs a cliff, second she walks blindfolded through a path of poisoned thorns. Third she sacrifices herself by exile so all can stay. Artemis I guess is there

8. Artemis is still running. Sees the pale ladies house, 3rd time he comes upon it much later he enters. Strikes bargain with her that magpie king must get flower from her, one day the Corvae line will not have a Magpie King, someone else will be it

9. Magpie King finds Artemis, Artemis collapses in the snow and is happy because he got his revenge, kind of. He has a vision of lonan and maedoc

10. Lonan visits Mother Ogema he has started to go mad with the power and poison of the magpie king. He is hunting maedocs kids but is losing his grip on things

Honestly most of that was notes I had taken for the podcast, so this was low effort. Or if I want to spin it, which you know I do, lets call that an inside look at the mind behind the greatest fantasy podcast of all time. Was this book chad? Middle of the pack really, Lonan starts out as a super bitch but winds up being a psycho Magpie King dude which is fucking sweet. So middle of the pack.

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