Race Reviews

Hollywood Beach Broadwalk Half Marathon and 5k – January Race Review

Date: Saturday, January 6th, 2020

Distance: 3.1 Miles (5k)

Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Time: 27:18

On a whim during my recent trip down to Ft. Lauderdale I signed up for this local 5k in North Hollywood. There was no real goal in mind besides looking for stuff to do and the desire to fill up valuable vacation time with exercise to feed a crippling exercise addiction. Nothing really prompted this, my sister sent me the details as an almost joke and me and my girlfriend decided to do it.

I have mentioned this about Florida races and Florida in general but it is worth mentioning again: Florida after 9:00 is a molten fireball where running gives you a similar feeling to that dude Icarus when he flew too close to the sun. Because of this the race started like super early, I think at 6:30 which is a fucking nightmare. Due to the last minute nature of this, we also had to arrive even earlier for packet pickup. All-in-all a clusterfuck of poor decisions designed to minimize my precious sleep.

So apparently this is a 2 part half marathon series, with the other event taking place in October. Considering I am already in training for a half marathon and trying to stick to the weekly mileage, we elected to just hit the 5k instead.

This was a cool idea, the field was small, maybe no more then 200 participants. That being said, any more then that would have made this 5k a nightmare. The course itself was pretty narrow, for a majority of mile 1 we spent it doing the ol’ weave and bob through the crowd, though it did eventually clear up. The best part of this whole thing was seeing the sun rise as we were running, what started off as pitch blackness and a freezing wind turned into sunshine and a freezing wind. As you can see from the race start line picture, the beginning of this race was a dark mass of people freezing to death because they chose to dress like it was a middle of the day Florida run. This of course includes me.

The swag to this race was nothing to write home about, you had the option for I believe a dri-fit shirt of a tank top, both in white so that you won’t get to wear them for very long. The medal was disproportionately large for a 5k because I think they gave the same medal to the people who finished the half. This part was cool, I want my medals to be as obscene as possible and this totally nailed it.

The course itself was fun, it was a little more then a mile down this kind of boardwalk, a mileish back, then one more time till it curled at the end. Felt a little bit like they really didn’t have enough room to make a 5k, like when you run up and down the sidewalk on your block to hit that last .09 mile. Also there was water at some point. The start to the race was a mad house, I actually had to do a quick trot from a deck down a flight of stairs, which I did successfully. The lady next to me did not and proceeded to bust her ass in front of everybody. I found this funny because I am a bad person.

To wrap up a really unnecessarily long race review for a race that I doubt anyone really cares about it is worth mentioning that my oft mentioned girlfriend Nathalie took 3rd place in her age group. It’s incredible that at 70-years-old she is still able to participate in these kind of events. Great job! That’s all folks.

Race Reviews

9th Annual Memorial Cardiac & Vascular Institute Fort Lauderdale Turkey Trot Race Review

Date: Thursday, November 28th, 2019

Distance: 3.1 Miles

Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Time: Who cares?

Every time I run a turkey trot I always think about that stupid meme that shames people just trying to better themselves and give back to great causes. What do you hate fitness? Do you hate charity? Don’t fit shame me.

For real though as someone whose blog is 50% about his own runs it is obvious that I would be a participant in a turkey trot. What I was pleasantly surprised with this year was that I was joined by my two sisters. For my older sister this was her first race, and she specifically started running just for it. This shows that I am slowly morphing the people around me into doing the things that I enjoy. Or that my sister took on an awesome challenge and did a great job. Either way I ran it.

Lets talk about the gear briefly. In short, I am unimpressed. The t-shirt is ass. Why anyone gives a white t-shirt for anything always blows my mind but as a running shirt there could not be a lower effort more useless piece of swag. I mean the race is in fucking Florida, if I wore that shirt for 15 seconds outside you would see every follicle of nipple hair on my masculine, animalistic (gross) chest. Though cartoon turkeys make me laugh so I guess it isn’t all bad. As I write this I am also realizing that for like 5 more dollars I could have gotten a dri-fit shirt and then maybe I would not be complaining. That’s on me dog.

I have lamented in the past about the misery that is Florida running but in this case the race was so early that it really wasn’t an issue. It also helps that it was a short run but whatever. What was hot in both the heat sense and the sexually attractive sense were these fire ass turkey hats we wore.

As you can see from the lovely picture above I have a hella ugly family. Also that the race took place on the street that is right on the beach, so we were treated to a great view. The race itself was solidly organized, they had day of registration and had water at the 1 mile and 2.5 mile marks. The race was willlllld packed, if you look at the picture below you can see where the race was supposed to start, and how many people were just swarming the start line. I actually thought that was kind of funny.

To wrap up this semi boring review I will say that I had a blast running this thing. I was on vacation in Florida and traded 30 degree shit weather for 80 degree glory so no matter what that was a win. The race itself, while a little on the disorganized side was a nice relaxing run with excellent energy that didn’t take itself serious at all. I mean its a fucking turkey trot, if you can’t have fun doing that your friends prob hate you. Shout out to Jenna for running this thing, she literally started running just to do this with me and my younger sister. My younger sister finishing the whole thing with that fucking hat on was equal parts impressive and possible serial killer. That was pretty cool.

Final Notes: Got into the American Airlines Half-Marathon so expect a revival of the (Half) Marathon Mondays blog series.