Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Audiobook Wrap-up

As the first stop on the journey around The Wheel of Time series has come to it’s conclusion, I thought it would be worth the time to review the audiobook as a whole. As I mentioned in the beginning of this, I had zero prior experience with audiobooks. This desire to start one stemmed from me getting bored as fuck with all the other stuff I was listening too while running, as well as being convinced by Amazon’s Audible marketing campaign. That last part is kind of embarrassing to say, but whatever just being honest. The audiobook has accompanied my marathon training, and since the New York City Marathon is like 17 weeks away, I think that I am going to continue to fly through the series. 

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan is the first book in a 12 part series known as the Wheel of Time, widely considered a classic series in the fantasy genre. If you are a fan of Tolkein, epic fantasy, or high fantasy this is an excellent series. While there are some adult aspects, this is a series that can be enjoyed by readers of any age. Having originally read the series about 5 years ago, my first impression of it was the length was a little excessive, though the payoff is worth it. It is longggggg as hell and because of this, the series has a tendency to meander and get bogged down in a lot of not entertaining chapters. I actually remember getting pretty bored with it at points and not enjoying it as much as some of the other stuff I had read at that point, but after listening to the audiobook I am not sure that this was an entirely fair opinion.

I think it is important to point out that I did listen to this, and as an audiobook it was a lot more interesting. When the book kind of slowed down I was able to just zone out a little and focus on the running. It was easy to follow along with the story while running, but I also remember the general gist of the plot. I would highly recommend listening to an audiobook of some fantasy series you keep promising yourself you are going to re-read knowing full well you are never going to get around to it. Gave me an entirely different perspective of the book

The Eye of the World as a singular story at its core is your run-of-the-mill chosen one tale. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you want something that differs from the norm, this might not be for you. If you look at the characters, creatures and plot, the first book especially is eerily similar to LOTR. Their are Orcs, Ents, chosen one and accompanying friends from his village, an ambiguous evil power, and magic (trolocs, Ogier, Rand and friends, Balzamon and the one power). The differences are what make this a special book.

With a more modern writing style and less focus on the way the trees hit the wind, this book is fantastic. The scope of the world is enormous, it feels like every chapter we are introduced to a new element of magic, abilities and creatures. The plot itself is solid, three villagers are chosen by The Pattern  which is some weird universal power that seeks to balance out the world, to fight the dark one who seeks to finally take over the world. Rand is an absolute loser and as a main character he is annoying as shit, but his storyline is cool enough to make up for it.

The book has the inevitable ending where the good guys win, but because this thing is 12 books long, it sets the scene nicely for the next book. I can’t wait to dive into the Great Hunt. Wow this was almost like a real review. Props to me for being able to write something mature. Fuck Rand. Had to throw in something immature.

Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Final Audiobook Update

Happy Friday everybody, I hope that the week of hell weather was a nice change of pace from the flood that was unleashed upon us last week. And since it is a happy Friday it is time for the greatest serial blog of all time. Though I was remiss in writing a mid-week blog, have no fear, I have been both reading and running, so there is going to be a lot coming in the next few weeks. But most importantly, at least in the case of this stupid thing, is that I have about 20 minutes left in the audiobook! This means expect a full audiobook recap coming up next week, and get ready for the start of the next one. Since that will only leave 300 more audiobooks over 10948021 hours, this blog series will never die!

I plan on doing a full running thing next week, as I have finally selected a marathon training plan and I think it is going to be beneficial to myself (the only person who matters of course) to kind of lay out the whole plan as well as write about where I am at. As such, I don’t want to waste space here talking about it, because I am really excited for today’s blog. Also starting a sentence with ‘as such’ and still managing to throw in a ‘because’ is such pro level blogging. It is shocking how easy I make this seem.

Why am I excited about this? Glad I asked myself. See while I think this book is a fantastic start to what I am slowly realizing is a series that I did not give nearly enough credit too my first time around, there is one particular passage in Eye of the World that fully shows the breathe of Robert Jordan’s genius. Flex on em boooooy.

Chapter 48 has the gang all together, and they settle down for the night. Ol’ peeping Tom al’Thor catches Nynaeve and Lan in their most intimate moment. To say I was eagerly anticipating this is an understatement. If you are familiar with this book, you know what I am talking about. If you are not, you are probably thinking that these two are going to fuck, and that is why I am all jazzed up. It’s 2019 I don’t need to read about sex to get off you fucking weirdo’s, I have an iphone of course! Either way, that’s not what happens here. If you are not familiar with this book, get ready for a breakdown of a scene that has no context for you. Also what the hell are you doing reading this blog. Just kidding please like it I’m broke and trying to make a million dollars.

Here it is in full, then a breakdown after. The breakdown is not going to include spoilers about the rest of the series.

The Wisdom Looked at Lan silently for a long time, then poured a cup of tea and brought it to him. When he reached out with a murmur of thanks, she did not let go right away.”I should have known you would be a king.” She said quietly. Her eyes were steady on the warder’s face, but her voice trembled slightly.

Lan looked back at her just as intently. It seemed to Rand that the Warder’s face actually softened.  “I am not a king, Nynaeve. Just a man. A man without as much to his name as even the meanest farmer’s croft.”

Nynaeve’s voice steadied. “Some women don’t ask for land, or gold. Just the man.”

 “And the man who would ask her to accept so little would not be worthy of her. You are a remarkable woman, as beautiful as the sunrise, as fierce as a warrior. You are a lioness, Wisdom.”

“A Wisdom seldom weds. But if I go to Tar Valon, it may be that I will be something other than a Wisdom.”

“Aes Sedai marry as seldom as Wisdoms. Few men can live with so much power in a wife, dimming them by her radiance whether she wishes or not.”

“Some men are strong enough. I know one such.” If there could have been any doubt, her look left none as to whom she meant.

“All I have is a sword, and a war I cannot win, but can never stop fighting.”

“I’ve told you I care nothing for that. Light, you’ve made me say more than is proper already. Will you shame me to the point of asking you?”

“I will never shame you.” The gentle tone, like a caress, sounded odd to Rand’s ears in the Warder’s voice, but it made Nynaeve’s eyes brighten. “ I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile. No woman deserves the sure knowledge of widow’s black as her brideprice, you least of all.” He set the untouched cup on the ground and rose. “I must check the horses.”

Nynaeve remained there, kneeling, After he had gone.

Sleep or no, Rand closed his eyes. He did not think the Wisdom would like it if he watched her cry.

The first time I read this I was a little confused, I had picked up on Nynaeve had a little thing for Lan, but I did not expect it to come to a head like this. She found out he was a king in a previous chapter, where Rand notes that she paid particular attention to a story they were being told. Also classic woman move to do a slight favor for a guy just to have an opportunity to trap him in a serious conversation.

 Lan looked back at her just as intently. It seemed to Rand that the Warder’s face actually softened.  “I am not a king, Nynaeve. Just a man. A man without as much to his name as even the meanest farmer’s croft.”

While not necessarily true, Lan is the Lord of the Seven Towers and Lakes and such, it is not exactly like he can hire a lawyer and take the trollocs to court to get his land back. Actually I don’t know how squatter’s rights work in the border lands so I guess this may be true. Either way this is the first time that we see Lan reciprocate any real feelings towards Nynaeve directly. It is also at this point where I start to tear up as I run down Willow Avenue.

Nynaeve’s voice steadied. “Some women don’t ask for land, or gold. Just the man.”

And the tears fall down as well as my pride, cannot and do not want to imagine what anyone thought if they looked at me during the two minutes this scene plays out. Also I am narcissistic enough to know people look at me the entire length of all my runs.

“And the man who would ask her to accept so little would not be worthy of her. You are a remarkable woman, as beautiful as the sunrise, as fierce as a warrior. You are a lioness, Wisdom.”

You feel the rejection coming but even so it is so eloquently put by Lan that it makes it that much harsher.

“A Wisdom seldom weds. But if I go to Tar Valon, it may be that I will be something other than a Wisdom.”

This is where Robert Jordan does such a complete job of character development. I know this stuff gets realllllly, and I mean really, long winded as the series goes on but this line right here is the underlying motivation for Nynaeve to become an Aes Sedai. Nynaeve is clearly anti Aes Sedai, and while the desire to heal people thing is a motivator, the real motivation is for Nynaeve to become an Aes Sedai is because she feels this is the way to Lan’s heart. Perhaps she is the one who actually feels unworthy of him.

“Aes Sedai marry as seldom as Wisdoms. Few men can live with so much power in a wife, dimming them by her radiance whether she wishes or not.”

A paltry excuse offered by Lan here, he is grasping at straws because he is hesitant to say what he really feels.

“Some men are strong enough. I know one such.” If there could have been any doubt, her look left none as to whom she meant.

GOD this is too much. As annoying as Nynaeve is at times, her way off cutting through the bullshit is excellent.

“All I have is a sword, and a war I cannot win, but can never stop fighting.”

This is the line of the book right here. While Mat is my favorite character (can’t you tell) Lan is easily a close second. His lines are the most impactful of the entire series. There are a lot of throwaway lines Robert Jordan uses to help us see past the rugged exterior of Lan, such as when Loial mentions that he misses discussing books with the warder, but it is sentences like this that we see the full depth of his character. Bound by his oath, burdened with his sword, the last remaining soldier in an impossible war. Yet he will fight because he swore to it, it is his duty. While he tells the other borderlanders that he has abandoned the cause, he never will

“I’ve told you I care nothing for that. Light, you’ve made me say more than is proper already. Will you shame me to the point of asking you?”

And here it is, the most outright statement of the conversation. Nynaeve knows all this, maybe she doesn’t fully grasp the whole of the situation but definitely enough to understand what he is saying, but to her this does not matter. She is not asking him to put aside his oaths, she is willing to carry that burden with him.

“I will never shame you.” The gentle tone, like a caress, sounded odd to Rand’s ears in the Warder’s voice, but it made Nynaeve’s eyes brighten. “ I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile. No woman deserves the sure knowledge of widow’s black as her brideprice, you least of all.” He set the untouched cup on the ground and rose. “I must check the horses.”

And yet he will not give into what his heart is telling him. He will not because he knows that no matter how much he loves Nynaeve, he has sworn to fight, and there is no outcome that doesn’t end in his death. He loves Nynaeve enough that he will not put her through this, he loves her so much that he will reject her so that she can have a chance at happiness. I mean this is just a real tear jerker.

Nynaeve remained there, kneeling, After he had gone.

Sleep or no, Rand closed his eyes. He did not think the Wisdom would like it if he watched her cry.

I know this is a departure from my usual jokes, but I love this passage so much that I thought it needed to be discussed. Also this blog is getting crazy long so time to end it.

Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Audiobook Update 10

Hear ye, hear ye the master of the recap no one asked for is here to bring you the weekly update. It may be an intentional faux pas but I’d like to thank myself for sticking with this ruse of using the always fresh and original recap format as an excuse to give my thoughts on the week. So without further ado let’s dive right in.

First and foremost congratulations to Drake for his amazing NBA championship run. Not since L. Ron Hubbard has there been a more versatile man. Drake has transcended from a fringe actor on a Canadian teen show to Grammy award winning NBA assistant coach, pro troll and super fan/global ambassador. Honestly if you told me at some point he got a couple of minutes at the end of a blowout I would not be surprised. Certainly contributed as much as Jeremy Lin did. RIP to the Lin Goku hairstyle.

Shoutout to Demar Derozan, the greatest human sacrifice since Prince Arthas tried to off Muradin to claim Frostmourne. Now that is a reference that is out there. Actually let’s take a moment to investigate the top human sacrifices that paid off:

  1. Jesus
  2. Jack Dawson. Though I am not convinced that he really needed to do this. Always has pissed me off
  3. Kelsier. This is probably recency bias as I just read this. You know how I know this is a good choice? Because the characters never let you forget it and make sure to mention his sacrifice in every subsequent chapter. Also why does Sanderson not get shit for naming Kelsier and Kaladin and making them like the same character? Initially at least.
  4. Goku when he blew himself up on Cell. This one didn’t end up quite so great except to motivate that crybaby Gohan.
  5. Coltaine. Easily my favorite on this list. Coltaine was a fucking awesome character who got royally fucked. The Chain of Dogs was one of the highlights of the Malazan Series, and he was the perfect leader. The Wickan Clan lost a real one. RIP even though he got reborn.

Thought this list was going to be longer, but it’s taking too much thought so moving on.

Back to the task at hand, didn’t do a lot of listening this week, as I decided to take a down week in preparation for the Queens 10k on Saturday (Review will of course be coming, stay tuned). I’ve read conflicting reports on the best way to do a down week, meaning I read the first few lines of like 3 articles and believed I knew more than the pro runners so I stopped. The research seems to vary widely, with a down week consisting of 50-90% of your average weekly mileage. I couldn’t possibly go 50% I have way to much image insecurity to allow myself to do that little exercise so the goal this week was 30 miles, which includes the 10k. I hate admitting it but there might be something to this down week thing, my legs are feeling nice and refreshed. Shooting for a 47 minute 10k on Saturday but we will see.

Big Rand the randy has been busy living up to his namesake doing a little princess chasing. Say what you want about Rand the man certainly seems to have a way with the ladies. Probably his only redeeming quality, though all those female characters are way more interesting then him. So my mans is wandering around the city trying to join the citywide peepshow of a real man, Logain, when he makes the genius decision to climb a giant wall and is just flat out shocked when the giant wall IN THE CITY he decides to climb is part of the royal grounds. The Trakand twins run up on him and rob him, got to fill the royal coffers somehow. They don’t but that would be dope, I am a big Trakand fan. Elayne is an aggressive one, instantly establishing that she’s digging that Aiel country vide Rand has, going to bat for him in front of ol’ moms in the classic “He’s really not a bad guy I swear,” routine that every parent fears. In the end though she is able to convince Morgase. If there was a Dad present, he would have done the classic Dad scowl and try and look menacing at the scumbag who he knows is giving his daughter the pipe. Rough.

Big bad Lan did some work freeing up Wolfboy and Egwene, the reunion of all the gang sans Thom is alright. The sad thing is that Mat’s metamorphosis into a super villain is soon to be curtailed. FREE MAT from the Aes Sedai. As I said I didn’t do a whole bunch of listening, but I have been told by the 9000000 articles littered throughout the blogosphere that consistency is the key to both blogging and chili so there’s that.

Final Notes: You got any ideas on down weeks? Let me know always happy to hear advice. The less that advice is backed by research or personal experience the better. Firm believer in the “Do as I say, not as I do” mantra for advice giving.

Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Audiobook Update 9

Here to bring you the latest from one man’s journey to listen to an audiobook that is over 20 years old from a series that he didn’t know was getting adapted into an Amazon TV series while simultaneously training for a marathon it is the one and only ME.  Last week’s rendition of the number one blog series that is super inclusive and I imagine not one single person can relate too went widely outside the lane lines so maybe today I will attempt to keep it a little more on track. That’s a running joke.

First and foremost I would like to address the progress on The Cold Commands. Almost done.

Now after the bravery it took to not only use the expression ‘First and foremost’ in two consecutive blogs but to write a race review mere hours after the race, it’s time to talk about the run game doggggg. Putting one foot in front of the other I am working on my 38 mile week and as off this morning I am at a little over 36 and honestly it wasn’t too bad. I don’t know if that is because I knocked off a big chunk of the mileage Sunday and Wednesday (11 and 8 respectively) but I am starting to think my body is adjusting well to the increase in mileage. I think not doing any speed workouts this week played a big role, but maybe I am actually improving? Crazy right. Next week I wanted to hit the 40 mile mark but I have the Queens 10k on Saturday and I want to shoot for a PR so I will probably put a solid 30 up. We are 149 days away from the New York City Marathon so I really have to solidify what the plan is going to be. I don’t want to be making up my own plan, I do that with too many things and I wind up either overdoing it or getting hurt. Time will tell.

I think for this update I actually am going to talk about what is going on the in the world of Rand al’BORE, instead of boring the shit out of anyone actually reading this by writing about my own training. Just kidding I already did that. At this point in the book it is time to investigate who is the better friend, Rand or Mat. On one hand, Rand has been purposely misleading Mat throughout all the villages, making him seem like a hyper paranoid fuckboy. On the other hand, Mat has bravely been providing the muscle for the pair, and when Rand got sick because he used magic to almost blind Mat and was having that post nut exhaustion, Mat was there nursing him back to health. And in Caemlyn, it’s Mat who is the pragmatic one. Rand is all happy go lucky everything is alright everyone is alive, while Mat wisely is ready to face the facts and acknowledge that the gang could all be pushing daisies. Just because Rand is right doesn’t mean anything and for the sake of this argument please gloss over that fact.

Bland gives Mat so much shit about running his mouth, yet when Bland finally gives Mat some well-earned peace and quiet, he meets Loial and literally tells some random giant trolloc every single detail of their adventure. Don’t get me wrong, I love Loial he literally a furry giant blogger without internet, but Bland goes from thinking this guy is a trolloc to blabbing his life story. No sense bro pathetic.

The dynamic duo of Moiraine and Lan always makes me happy. I love those two making mischief, ambiguously dropping clues as to their emotional states, and all around having a good time fighting the Dark One. Those two and the third wheel Nynaeve are currently in the midst of operation rescue the blockhead. Moiraine is making it rain! Actually it’s lightening but that doesn’t rhyme.

That should just about rap up this week’s updates. I think it is time for my favorite part of every blog so if this is where you tap out have a greeeeeeeat Friday!

Final Notes: We got game four tonight and honestly this series has become wildly more entertaining than I anticipated. I know logic dictates that I have to accept that Kevin Durant is not coming back, but it is just so weird to have a finals with such an integral part of not only the Warriors, but the overall NBA narrative to just not play. I didn’t think it was possible that we wouldn’t see him, like I keep saying to myself no way he is missing another game but here we are.

In other sports news I am going to a Premier League Lacrosse game tomorrow, as a longtime laxer I have never attending a pro lax game. I worked a booth at one once and maybe watched two minutes of it and was unimpressed. I am hoping for a better showing. No idea whose playing, but I heard Paul Rabil on a podcast talking about it this morning and I was sold. At my old job I met him and a few other pro’s and honestly I know we all joke about lax guys being assholes but those dudes couldn’t be nicer. I think I am going to do a PLL review tomorrow, which would make that blog the first strictly sports blog on the site. Progress.

Cue the sick flow

Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Audiobook Update 8

Sugar honey iced tea welcome to the 8th installment of a loosely based serial blog of me half listening to an audiobook and using the review format to rant and rave about life so if I you have been keeping up with this or are just tuning in (little TV lingo for ya) I have been listening to the Eye of the World audiobook not because the TV show is coming out and I wanted to freshen up on it so I could look down on people and feel o so smug as I tell them how much better the book is whilst dropping tidbits such as the always classic “that’s not how it happened in the books” and “I CAN’T even believe they changed that” as you slowly think of the fastest way to remove yourself from the conversation and never walk over to my desk again or text me back  but rather because I wanted to see if the story still held up after I read it years ago and mildly enjoyed the series despite the 10000000000000000000 (approximately of course) pages and story that spiraled more out of control then a night out on the town with former Knick great J.R. Smith aka as “you tryna get the pipe” DM line dropper.

That was a mouthful and I’m not talking about the eighth season of Game of Thrones (get it??? It sucked the big one [that is a fellatio joke {cue the irony joke drums as you stab yourself in the eyes with the green straw from a venti Starbucks iced coffee you purchased at the bargain price of $6.94}]). That sentence had more brackets then your office during March Madness. God I need to end this blog ASAP. Fridays am’I’rite???

Maybe I don’t need to spend too long talking about running this time around, I have been running 36 miles a week still. This week I am going to hit 37, next week 38, week after that 10 HAHAHA just kidding 39 just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Training is going well, my eyes recovered from their battle with bald head sunscreen. Got some solid time with our favorite team of destiny, and I am not talking about the Warriors. Cue the segway . . . speaking of the Warriors I hope all four people outside my family who may read this blog (not positive my family does TBH) don’t take any of my gambling advice. If you bet on the Warriors you are like me, someone who is losing to set up the COMEBACK. The hot streak of picking wrong is still on! Team of destiny my ass, you let stick figure Siakam and Raymond Feltons’ twin brother beat you. Won’t speak ill of Kawhi he’s amazing, OOO WAIT, I bet on him having a double-double and that fucker had 9 rebounds (he actually had 8 but 9 seems much more heartbreaking). I mean they were throwing up circus shots and it would just roll in no biggie.

Let’s talk the tav’ern team. Rand and Mat are out there doing their best Thom immpressions. Rand of course is being a little bitch, when some farmer’s daughter is giving him the ol’ lets take a barn yard roll eyes he gets all nervous and keeps playing his fiddle. Hey buddy you think she was just trying to make you nervous so you would keep playing because they are on a farm and haven’t heard music in their whole lives? All time loser. Mat on the other hand, legend. She gives him those eyes “It’s Goin’ Down” like a Yung Joc song. Or going down like Yung Joc’s career. Shout out to him he sounded good on that T-Pain song in 1987.

We should take this time to admire what Mat is doing. His healthy sense of paranoia is what that duo needed. Rand ready to trust any farmer with a straw hat, going to get himself diddled with that attitude. Mat on the other hand is ready to stab his own friend with a cursed knife from the evil pufferfish in order to SECURE THE BAG. Game recognizes game. Evil Mat is awesome.

O yea Perrin’s dumbass and Egwene got captured by White Cloaks. Good job bro. At least he killed some. Actually I think I mentioned this  last week. Happy Friday!

Final Notes:  Went to Book Expo yesterday (yea that’s where only publishing professionals and people selling weird book related merchandise no one wants go, talk about exclusivity) and saw that Robert Jordan is actually publishing a new book. I was going to ask if Jordan wrote the book whilst hanging out with Tupac, but I saw that the scientology publisher had delicious looking cookies so I decided to grab one of those instead. Just kidding I was too nervous to talk to anyone because I suck at networking hence why I hide behind a blog. Learned a lot about L Ron Hubba Bubba though. Let me tell you a little bit about him…

Journey around the Wheel of Time

Eye of the World Audiobook Update 7

Okay, okay, okay, it’s that time of the week where I’m going to ramble on about Eye of the World, running and touch upon gambling losses. I feel like I have been struggling with the running this week. With having the Brooklyn Half on Saturday and doing the City Manager’s 10-Mile Race to Remember this Sunday, I am in that intermediary week where I don’t have a long race to get these miles in and I don’t want to overdo it and be shot to shit by Sunday. So I fed myself a steady diet of 5-7 mile runs, and will close up the week with two 3 milers Friday and Saturday. Running consistent 5-7 miles everyday was just boring, I should have broke it up with something. I think I might shoot for a 40 mile week next week, since 10 of them will already be knocked out by the race Sunday and I don’t believe I have anything coming up.

There is one good thing about 5-7 milers every day, it gave me a shitload of time to make some progress on Eye of the World. I just finished listening to the part of the book where Perrin and Egwenes’ dumbasses get scooped up by the Children of the Light. RIP HOPPER YOU WERE A REAL ONE. I guess it really isn’t too depressing because I’m almost positive he lives on in the dream world. Kinda hard to get emotional over it. I call those two dumbasses because I never understand this, instead of hiding by the only identifiable object in the Stedding, just keep walking or lay down in the middle of the field. You have night vision Perrin, use it. Terrible showing by him just charging them and getting twerked in the head. Be better bro.

Update on the tres amigos. Boring, Nynaeve grow up already. Such a whiner. Looks like fucking CP3 after literally anything happens on the court. Moiraine is like Scott Foster. Lan is like somebody. Good job me.

I would be remiss in my duties if I did not touch upon the hero of the story and Lenny al’Thor. Things started to pop off in White Bridge, and honestly there is no one to blame here but Rand. If he just never spoke to Padain Fain, Mat would never be forced to have to make tough decisions like saying to Thom we gotta split up. Thom is a real one though. Charging a fade when you are 900 years old takes balls. His may be old and wrinkled, but they are most certainly there. Gracious of Mat to not steal the spotlight and take out the fade himself. Real heroes know to get everyone on the team involved.

And that is this week’s update. Remember kids stay in school.

Final Notes:

There is this book proposal going around my office today, and it is seriously the craziest thing I have ever read. It is at least 14k words long and it is the work a madman, I want to share it soooooo badly but I have a feeling I would get fired instantly. It’s ballsy as hell though, my man not only proposed a book, but also a subsequent movie, tv show and an app. I would love if people started sending me crazy ass book proposals.

I was riding a hot streak on the Bucks covering, but that came to a crashing halt last night. Kawhi had to be the most desirable free agent this summer. It’s weird, like he has such a solid image, seems crazy dependable, doesn’t cry to the media, doesn’t even have emotion when he gets called for something, is willing to limp around the court just to play and yet I still always question him because of San Antonio. I can’t wait to one day find out the real, or as close to real as things get these days, one day. Three blogs this week. What a legend. Final notes is a little out of hand on this one.


Eye of the World Audiobook Update 6

No idea if that is the sixth update but looking over some of my recent titles I just keep putting the same title on it so for the sake of keeping a running series I gave it the number 6. Old school Miami Heat LeBron style. Actually that makes me gag. Looking up famous athletes who wore number 6 it’s like Bill Russel and Julies Erving, both dudes that are not from my time so I guess LeBron blog it is. Expect this blog to be extraordinarily self-centered and quick to blame others. Unless I succeed, then it’s all because of me. God I can’t stand that man. If he gets traded from the Lakers that will almost fill the void in my heart that Zion was supposed to fill. RIP in pieces to my dream of one day watching the Knicks without complaining the entire game. I guess I will also throw the Giants in that category.

I want to talk a little Warriors Blazers but I fell asleep at halftime so I won’t.

That’s talking hoops folks.

Back to the book. Hand up it wasn’t my fault but I was fed false information about the Mines of Moria part of the book by anonymous sources (my memory). A temporary lapse in memory from years of misspent youth had me thinking that weird out-of-world path that connects different parts of the world was where the Moraine gang was headed too but in actuality it was Shadar Logoth. I honestly really like this part of the story even though I think the running away from the Trollocs and the giant killing fart cloud is stupid. I love the move of the fat guy trying to get Rand and our hero Mat to try and take some gold. I would be diving in that pile grabbing annnnything I could lay my hands on. Quick thinking superstar Cauthon saw an opportunity to get his bread up and took it. Not his fault that it turned out to be cursed, honestly its Moraines fault for not being more on the ball. Like if there is cursed treasure and Foreskin running around let the crew know. Like she should know looking at Mat that he is going to try and get them stacks, so throw him a heads up. Fuck al’Bore I wish he took some.

Such an underrated move from Moridin just blowing up like a pufferfish. Not once in the history of media has the pufferfish move failed. Too bad it didn’t pan out. Maybe I had trouble hearing this part of the chapter but why can’t he just stab them? These are the kinds of questions that I had as I avoided puddles running in the rain for the 14th straight day.

But some good came out of the trip, all the characters split up. The book is much better when all the main characters have time to develop their own individual story lines. Though I don’t talk about him a lot because I think his story isn’t the most interesting, I really do enjoy Perrin. His chapters are a kind of nice pallet cleanser from the Rand teen angst shit and the cattiness of the Aes Sedai. Now that the dead weight has been cut off, it is time for Mat to truly shine.

And that kind of concludes the update. I guess I should mention that Kate Reading read to me for the first time. The switch off from the female narrator/female POV chapters to the male narrator/male POV chapters was refreshing. Also honestly all this rain has been miserable and made the beginning of the week a pain in the ass for getting miles in. Had to do my long run Saturday which meant I ran 37 miles instead of the 33 I had planned. Didn’t taper at all this week and now I am just sticking with 36 since the Brooklyn Half is Saturday. Might plan to do a race review, has nothing to do with fantasy nor pro sports but it’s my blog so if that’s what I want to write that’s what I am going to write.

Final notes: Had to go to Dumbo to get my race packet. Hadn’t been there since I interned at Melville House Publishing. Love that area and loved that internship, ABSOLUTELY hate getting there. Come-on NYRR it’s ridiculous that I can’t just go to the Run Center to get the packet. Shirt looks fire though.


Eye of the World Audiobook Update

Hey as a new segment we are going to do “Mike is behind on the internet.” So on today’s segment I have a fantastic new announcement to make. Amazon Prime is making a Wheel of Time series or something and production starts in the fall. Remember this in five years after season one of that LOTR series airs. Incredible timing by me to decide to listen to an audiobook so that I can properly shame any fan of the show with my favorite intelligence shaming comment of all time, “This is not what happened in the book.” Now the natural retort would be to just say, “Hey Mike you are supposed to work in publishing but your spelling and grammar fucking suck you dumbass hack.” Well played. Credit to you.

Back to the audiobook. Been running my second 33 mile week and so far so good, at like 25 already this week so very ahead of the game. Seems like these long runs are getting a lot easier, I am supposed to be running the Brooklyn Half on May 19th and I planned on dropping the mileage to like 25 next week to kind of make sure my legs were in shape but I am not sure I really need to do that. Either way, running is going well.

So the book. Baerlon didn’t pan out so hot for the crew, the fade kinda ruined what was a fun time. Also Rand al’Bore just shouting out his whole life plan to Padain Fain probs didn’t help either. I would say that was Rand’s first mistake in the book, though no worries that clown ass fake dragon reborn makes many more. Also, I know this book does well in the sense of having strong female leads but I forgot how annoying the cattiness and posturing of characters like Nynaeve gets. Just feel like there are better ways for them to interact. Whatever it’s not like a deal breaker, but listening to it instead of reading it I just want the whining to stop. OOOO MORAINE DOESN’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. No shit she is out here making herself fucking giant and whipping people with her unbreakable staff and you are like o miss have a cup of tea for exhaustion. Know your role fam.

I think I am at the part where they just finish their first skirmish and are heading to that weird Mines of Moria portal world. The skirmish went well, of course all the characters instantly succeeded in fighting on horseback. Pretty sweet when Lan chops of the fades head and all Thom could say is “O you gotta wait until night for them to die, I think.” Buddy I am sure the magic lady and her super soldier are aware. Love Thom though, shout out to him. The hero of the story whipping people with his quarterstaff is Arya before Arya. Good for him, at least he actually takes some damage, unlike Rand who just willy-nilly hangs on for dear life falling off his horse. A real hero gets hit.

Final notes: I lost on Golden State the other night, just keeping it honest. Since I live in Jersey and can use *Gambling site pay me and you can appear here!* my friend asked me to put money on the Bucks for him. Thought that was stupid. Loved seeing a winning ticket that wasn’t my own.