Race Reviews

9th Annual Memorial Cardiac & Vascular Institute Fort Lauderdale Turkey Trot Race Review

Date: Thursday, November 28th, 2019

Distance: 3.1 Miles

Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Time: Who cares?

Every time I run a turkey trot I always think about that stupid meme that shames people just trying to better themselves and give back to great causes. What do you hate fitness? Do you hate charity? Don’t fit shame me.

For real though as someone whose blog is 50% about his own runs it is obvious that I would be a participant in a turkey trot. What I was pleasantly surprised with this year was that I was joined by my two sisters. For my older sister this was her first race, and she specifically started running just for it. This shows that I am slowly morphing the people around me into doing the things that I enjoy. Or that my sister took on an awesome challenge and did a great job. Either way I ran it.

Lets talk about the gear briefly. In short, I am unimpressed. The t-shirt is ass. Why anyone gives a white t-shirt for anything always blows my mind but as a running shirt there could not be a lower effort more useless piece of swag. I mean the race is in fucking Florida, if I wore that shirt for 15 seconds outside you would see every follicle of nipple hair on my masculine, animalistic (gross) chest. Though cartoon turkeys make me laugh so I guess it isn’t all bad. As I write this I am also realizing that for like 5 more dollars I could have gotten a dri-fit shirt and then maybe I would not be complaining. That’s on me dog.

I have lamented in the past about the misery that is Florida running but in this case the race was so early that it really wasn’t an issue. It also helps that it was a short run but whatever. What was hot in both the heat sense and the sexually attractive sense were these fire ass turkey hats we wore.

As you can see from the lovely picture above I have a hella ugly family. Also that the race took place on the street that is right on the beach, so we were treated to a great view. The race itself was solidly organized, they had day of registration and had water at the 1 mile and 2.5 mile marks. The race was willlllld packed, if you look at the picture below you can see where the race was supposed to start, and how many people were just swarming the start line. I actually thought that was kind of funny.

To wrap up this semi boring review I will say that I had a blast running this thing. I was on vacation in Florida and traded 30 degree shit weather for 80 degree glory so no matter what that was a win. The race itself, while a little on the disorganized side was a nice relaxing run with excellent energy that didn’t take itself serious at all. I mean its a fucking turkey trot, if you can’t have fun doing that your friends prob hate you. Shout out to Jenna for running this thing, she literally started running just to do this with me and my younger sister. My younger sister finishing the whole thing with that fucking hat on was equal parts impressive and possible serial killer. That was pretty cool.

Final Notes: Got into the American Airlines Half-Marathon so expect a revival of the (Half) Marathon Mondays blog series.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 16: O crap this is really happening

We have approached the final rendition of the Monday (or Tuesday, or even in this case Wednesday) marathon training blog. If you are reading this for the first time well the context is pretty easy to figure out if you have any type of awareness. Sunday is the TCS New York City Marathon and I will be participating in it. This is my first marathon so I have no idea what to expect. The only thing I know is baring death I will finish it. So if you never see another blog posted on this illustrious site know that I am not resting in piece.

Might as well talk about last week, though at this point the recap is just to put off having to talk about the future. Last week was one of the lower mileage weeks as the taper is in full effect. Tuesday was a murderous tempo run that I thought I flew through. Every single tempo run in this entire plan I have absolutely dreaded, and every single time I finished the tempo portion I have never felt better. There is something about pushing myself that really feels good. This was no exception. Like even if I am bone tired I seem to be able to push it for an extended amount of time. No one may care but if for some reason you see tempo run and think “fuck that,” well try it. Or don’t I do not really give a shit. Word.

The rest of the week was simple. The Wednesday and Thursday runs were easy enough, and the long run went really well. I see that I clipped off the Sunday run in that image but I am not going backwards so I ran five that day as well. Honestly that week felt nice, I did some yoga and flipped unto my ass trying to do a head stand and the instructor laughed. I mean I laughed too so whatever.

Lets talk about this week. Two 5-milers, a 3-miler and a 26.2-miler. The strategy is simple: don’t worry about time and try and have fun. Fun comes second, I didn’t do all this training to fuck around, I plan on finishing this and doing a respectable job. The strategy is going to be very similar to how I was doing those long runs. I will start by hydrating every 5 miles and will continue to try and keep that up as long as possible. I plan on having gel at miles 6, 12, 18, and maybe 24 though that seems like a lot. I do not think I am going to be able to have a little bit of a banana but whatever.

I will be sure to take enough pictures to make a somewhat decent race review but I make no promises. It is kind of hard to write about this the last week because at this point it feels so close that I just want it to happen but instead I am here writing about it. O well.

Final Note: Not really sure how I am getting to the race so there is a chance none of this happens. That is what I get for not selecting transportation when they asked. Go me!

Also I kind of mailed it in on this blog so if for some reason you actually read to the end of it don’t judge me on this try reading another one.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 15: The calm before the storm

Not really sure what I am going to do to replace this Monday series after this is all said and done but with just one more blog to write after this one maybe I should focus on the task ahead. The title of this blog says it all, with two weeks left until race day this is the time to really focus on making sure my legs will function properly come time. At this point I am delirious with running, it has consumed my every waking moment. I wake up sore as hell, whether it is my calves twitching like a addict in withdrawal, my lower back feeling like I spent the previous day carrying overpriced textbooks I never planned on reading around campus, or my hips feeling like I just finished shooting an adult film, my shit hurts. Those were some A+ analogies.

Week 14 on paper did not seem to be the worst thing, in practice it felt horrible. The week started off with some solid intervals, as I previously mentioned I was going to do 2 minute intervals and I did. 2 minute intervals are god damn torture. Maybe that is why last week sucked, I don’t think I ever truly recovered from the intervals. Moving on to what should have been a nice easy 4-miler. If you were in the tri-state area on Wednesday, you may remember the tsunami. I ran in that. NEXT. Thurday was actually not too terrible I ran with my favorite running partner (that would be my gf, yes a blogger who reads fantasy books can have one of those), and Friday was of course the greatest day of all. I’m talking hills! Also hit the gym Friday night not to brag or really just show how little I have going on in my life that I can work out twice in a day, on a Friday no less. I promise I have a 9-5 job. I also so Post Malone Tuesday night. Not like I saw him while I was out, I paid money to see him preform. No real reason to include that in this but here you go.

The long run physically was difficult in the sense that I felt as if my body was already starting off sore. I didn’t do legs at the gym, but my body felt as if it was stiff and it never really seemed to loosen up. Fortunately my mental game seems to be on track, I just listened to my audiobook and knocked it out. No gels or anything, just a quick pit stop at the water fountain around mile 8.

Looking at this week there really isn’t much to talk about. The 6-mile tempo run tomorrow will probably be the most difficult thing I have to overcome, and since that is in the beggining of the week at least I will get that out the way. I am taking off today, and while I have a day off on thursday, I think it is crucial to get in a yoga class. The long run of the week is 8 miles, so no real challenge there.

Wrapping up this whiny ass blog it really hasn’t hit me that this training is almost at an end. I am not one to get wrapped up in the moment so it still doesn’t feel like I will be running the marathon in two weeks. As someone who had always had ‘running a marathon’ on his bucket list or whatever you want to call it, I am surprised that the buildup hasn’t broken me mentally. Perhaps running those crazy long training runs, and slowly building up to this distance has just made it seem like a tangible goal as oppoosed to a pipe dream. Who knows maybe I will freak out next week. Lets get after it.

Final Notes: For your own mental sanity please don’t ever watch nor bet on the Giants. Shurmer calling a draw on 3rd and a million when we needed to convert that first down to keep the games hope alive has haunted me since yesterday. Also the decision to take the ball out of the end zone after the Cardinals field goal and not just take the touch back, essentially negating using the two minute warning as a time-out was one of the worst time management coaching decisions I have ever seen. So bad.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 14: Taper time!

For some reason in my mind I am celebrating the start of the taper like this is the end of the road and the race is already over. Stupid but I can’t help it. Last week was an absolute beast and from purely time management standpoint the start of the taper will make my life infinity easier. That is not to say it will be easy, the point is to try and get some juice back into my zombie legs but still maintain some fitness.

Last week beat me like I was the Giants secondary. The 10-mile tempo run was brutal, I mean a 10-mile run in general is no walk in the park but the pace changing was torture. I thought it went well, I mean I was kind of rushing it because I was trying to the see The Joker but my watch got messed up and I wound up feeling like I needed to run a little extra. The tempo itself was fast, doing a quick mile 5 separate times really pushed me. To follow that up with a nice 8-miler the next day was death.

As for the other two runs, I almost didn’t know what to do with myself on the day off, Friday’s run came around and I felt great. Kept the pace night and light, ending with 4 rounds of strides, which entailed a pushed pace for 30 seconds followed by a 1:30 minute recoverary. Helped with staying loose.

The obvious beast was the 22-mile monster. I ran it Saturday, which was good because it was a nice cloudy 60 degrees when I started. The run went smoothly, I did a 14-mile loop followed by an 8-mile loop. Took the goo at mile 6, a quarter of a banana at mile 14 and another goo thing at mile 18. Hydrated at miles 7, 14 and 19. No real outlying difficulties besides overall pain in my entire being. My knees were hurting but nothing crippling. I thought I kept a solid enough pace, I mean it was a lot slower than some of my other training runs but I wasn’t too concerned. I listened to almost 4 straight hours of the audiobook though so expect Friday’s blog to be a monster. Having to run 6 miles the next day fucking sucked though. O well it’s in the past now.

Lets take a look at the upcoming week. The big runs are 8 and 14 miles, don’t really anticipate much of an issue with either of them. The 14-miler I might try and push the pace just to get used to running a little harder. Prob not though. The workouts are a 6-mile interval and a 4-mile hill run. Hill run will be the most fun of the week. Well that is all I got. Stay in school.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 13: Come on how long is this training

I know how long this training is because I understand how numbers work, but seeing something and doing something are two very different things. I also get that, but holy shit my life has been consumed by running. I am on the final quarter of the training plan, with the last week being of course marathon week, so while all that other stuff was important this quarter matters the most. Meaning it is time to push it.

Last week was one of those de-loadish weeks that was supposed to be a drop off in mileage, but looking at it again I am realizing I still ran 44 miles. Prior to this training plan my longest running week was under 40 miles, so to call a 44 mile week light is almost laughable. But that is what progress is supposed to be.

Like I said, it was supposed to be a light week… So it started off with an 8-mile interval run, which I actually ran as fast as I could because I was trying to squeeze in the run before an appointment. I was making fantastic time, the intervals felt good I was moving well but then my stupid ass watch died. Hence the two tracked runs. Had to bust out the phone for the rest of it. Frustrating in a sense that I was doing great, but in the grand scheme of things not a big deal. I switched a few runs this week, swapping the Wednesday/Thursday and the Saturday/Sunday. No real reason for this besides scheduling. The 10-mile run went fantastic, I was encouraged by this.

Also did some significant cross training last week. Hit the gym later Saturday to get a lot of work in for my legs. My groins have been feeling week during my long runs, so I did a lot of strength training for them, and of course my hamstrings. I also did some calf raises, which I know I need to do, but because of all this running it absolutely murders me for the next few days. They just seem to be getting so tight, they also constantly twitch, even when I am not active. My physical therapist/girlfriend was working on them yesterday and I was legit almost crying. Such a pussy. I also took a yoga class, was the only dude there so I felt weird and kept my shirt on. Ridiculous that I created my own peer pressure. As I said, I am a slang term for being soft.

Let’s talk about the upcoming week. I am actually worried about getting all this done and still having energy at the end of it to run 22 miles. Today is a 10-mile tempo run. That is quite a lot of mileage on top of being a speed workout. I am sure I will feel better after I get through it. The workout itself is similar to the 8-mile tempo run, I am just adding another round. That photo is supposed to say 5 times but I am too lazy to fix it at this point. After that the week isn’t really bad, I mean I actually get a day off which I will wisely use to watch the Giants get smoked. O well this is what I signed up for.

And lastly but certainly not leastly (that’s how that expression goes right?) is the mammoth 22-miler. Look there is nothing to say about this that I haven’t said. I plan on approaching it similar to the 20-miler. I am going to do a 13-mile loop followed by I guess a 9-mile loop, prob taking goo gel shit at miles 6, 15, and 20. Water at 7ish, 13, 20 and any time I pass a water fountain after. Quarter of a banana at mile 13. Let’s get it.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Monday’s Week 11: The Crucible

Stellar original title to represent what will be the most difficult week of physical activity in my entire life. This is what will either make or break me. It is time for my running crucible.

But before we get to the specifics, which I mean since I post the entire plan every week you can kind of just see already, let’s talk about the previous weeks high’s and low’s. The low’s are Florida running. Florida is a swamp. Any time I have ever run in Florida it is nothing but a torturous experience. The weather is psychotic, in the course of an hour run I experienced hurricane rain, it then stopped and became muggy to the point where I was parting the air like Moses did to the Red Sea, to finally completely sunny like the fucking Sahara. I ran 4 miles yesterday and I swear I thought I would just pass out on the boardwalk like the goblins outside Penn Station. Miserable.

SOOO Friday I ran a miserable 5 there, Saturday fortunately it was so cloudy and windy that I think I was just whipped forward like a rag doll for 10 and then the aforementioned Sunday Runday. Not fun. I did get a nice workout in on Friday to beef up the ol’ twig legs. Which is good because I ate like shit. The beginning of the week went well, I think I spoke about the intervals already but I like that workout. I think the one minute bursts followed by two minute jogs is a good but not terrible workout.  Whatever the de-load week is over. I feel not de-loaded.

On to the crux of the matter. Is that how that expression works? This week tops off at 55 miles. Anyway you break that up is going to miserable, but for conversations sake let’s get into it. An 8-mile hill workout kicks things off, as you can see from the workout posted below I am upping it to 10 rounds of .25 mile repeats because I love pain. But truthfully I was so miserable running up the Harlem hills during my 18-mile race I know I need to continue to train on them. Then I am going knock out a “casual” 9-miler the following day. I truthfully think that the Wednesday run is going to be the hardest run of the week. Followed by triple 6’s leading into the long run. The tempo run is going to be a disaster. It hasn’t changed since I have done it but I will post it for consistencies sake.

All this is in preparation for the monster 20-miler on Sunday. The goal is to just get it done by any means neccassary. I am thinking about running like two 7-mile loops and then a 6-mile loop. Or doing two 10-mile loops. Either way after the each loop I will be taking a quick Gatorade respite and will do the goo every 5 miles. I think if I just pace it and it isn’t miserable out I prob will make it. Either way it is much easier to type about shit then to do it. So no more.

Final Notes: I am in love with a man. His name is Daniel Jones. Our hero, our savior, our messiah. The Week 3 GOAT. The future of my happiness. An absolutely masterful display. I walked off the plane Sunday, fired up the game and watched him run right up the gut to win. I cried, I laughed, I fell in love.

Marathon Mike

Marathon Mondays Week 10: Amateur hour is over

That seems more like the title of a bad action movie or like the fourth season of a sports movie that went straight to DVD. Maybe when they reboot Air Bud they can borrow my subtitle. Either way it is week 10 of this magnificent series as well as the 10th week of my marathon training so let’s talk about it.

Last week was nothing short of brutal. Just a heavy workload capatalized by the monster run on Sunday, which of course you can read all about in the previous blog if you are so inclined to hear more whining. To be fair hill workout’s are slowly becoming my absolute favorite workout so to start the week off like that was ideal. I mentioned before that I did some hot yoga later that tuesday night and I fully credit my success for the rest of the week on doing that class. Two-a-days are a lot to put on your plate, they consume an enormous amount of both time and energy while depleting an already drained body, but yoga has almost the opposite effect. Besides the obvious stretching aspect I just think it helps so much with strenghting without straining and reenergizing the body by increasing blood flow. So if you are a dude who is too masculine to do it well you are a bitch.

So I switched up the 7 and 8-mile runs to accomadate my schedule, but I am convinced that those Wednesday/Thursday mid-week medium mileage runs are the hardest runs of the whole training plan. Something about those two days absolutely murders me. Wednesday I ran in the morning and had planned on doing the extra mile but physically I just called it quits, which is crazy considering it was only an extra mile. Could have been an extra 10 miles for all that mattered because I just couldn’t do it. It’s weird that I can have such a bounce back for the tempo run on Friday, which went excellently. I mean 2 1/2 miles at a 7ish minute mile pace is great for me. Felt good after it as well

But taking a look at this week there are a few things to note. It is certainly a de-load week, which at this point I know I need despite my body feeling great. I am headed to Fort Lauderdale for the weekend so I squeezed in a workout yesterday to try and find my abs in order to flex for social media. Sadly they are still lost. I am highly encouraged that I was not really sore at all the day after the 18-miler, so I want to keep that momentum and push it with the extra workouts. I did the intervals this morning, they went fine. No other running workouts this week which is a blessing. Just gotta knock out a 10-miler at some point then straight lounging on the beach. Till next week . . .

Final Notes: Pray for Daniel Jones. O lord.